His and Her Chores

Wahoo!  I can now say I am experienced at mowing the lawn with both a push mower and a riding mower.  I cut for ages today on the new John Deere and the yard looks fabulous.  We have 10 acres.  I didn't come close to getting it all, but I made a good dent in the area around the house.  I have loads of offers for help with the cutting including from my parents who live right next door.  They help as much as Rudy will let them.  Rudy still hopes to get going on it again, but for now, he's weak as a kitten.

Rudy and I have divided our around the house chores ever since we were married.  I only remember mowing the grass once during all this time.  Truthfully, mowing looks like fun (way better than cleaning toilets or doing dishes) but I never wanted to learn because I could barely keep up with the jobs that had become mine.

Now that Rudy is unable to do his jobs, I have had to take them on and it's been really hard. It's not hard just because of the increased work.  It's hard because I am clueless about so many things.  I didn't know how to start a mower.  I don't know where he keeps manuals or keys.  I don't know which gas is used where.  I think some things use special gas but I don't know which things.  He has lots of gas cans but none are labeled so I don't know which gas might be special.   I don't know the medicine routine for our pets.  I could go on and on.  And for the record, if I were the one who was sick, Rudy would be clueless about just as many things.

I am not looking for sympathy here. I'll figure things out eventually.  Rudy will help me when he can.  Right now, he's too weak to even explain much.  My parents will help.  Our friends and family will help.   You Tube is a lot of help.  And no matter how hard what I'm doing feels, it doesn't come close to what Rudy is dealing with.

My main reason for making this point is for my married friends who may be living "divided lives" when it comes to chores.  Take the time to learn more about the things your partner does.  There are so many circumstances that could come up where the knowledge could prove invaluable.

I've Changed

I'm not the same.  I've changed.  Today, I had a glimpse of the person I'm turning into.  It looks like the new me will be far less willing to put up with things that aren't right.

I set out to buy a John Deere mower.  By myself.  Most any female has experienced the dark side when shopping for something typically thought of as a male item.  We are sometimes ignored or talked down to and sometimes even lied to.  I have avoided that most of my life by making sure Rudy was always with me if I suspected there might be a problem.  Today, I was on my own.

I walked into the John Deere dealership in Newnan (Ag-Pro).  There were 4 men in the store - 3 behind the counter, 1 at a desk.  All of them were in close proximity and all of them saw me. Two were on the phone.  They all continued about their business.  I didn't even get a wave, a nod or a hello.  After standing patiently in the middle of the store for what seemed like ages, one of them said he'd be with me in a minute.  His idea of a minute was different than mine and he was obviously in no rush. Two other men walked out onto the floor and talked with the others.  So now, there were 6 men ignoring me.  I felt less than invisible.
This could have been their easiest sale of the day.  I knew exactly what I wanted.  I had called to make sure it was in stock.  I knew the price.  All they would have had to do was ring it up.  They lost the sale.  I walked out.

Something in me just seemed to snap.  There's absolutely no need for me to tolerate such rudeness.  I don't have the luxury of sending Rudy to take care of things for me.  I'm going to have to get tough.

DON'T go to the Ag-Pro
John Deere dealership in Newnan!

I didn't waste time or energy giving them a piece of my mind.  I thought about writing a quick note to the company, but decided they aren't worth the effort.  What do I care if they improve?  Instead, I decided the best action would be to WARN all of my friends - if you want good customer service, DON'T go to Ag-Pro in Newnan.

I ended up buying the mower at Home Depot.   The price was exactly the same.  Kimberly took good care of me.  She rang it up, hunted down ramps, helped load the mower, climbed in the truck to help tie it down, and more.  Now that's how it's done!

I have been thinking about this incident for a good part of the afternoon.  I have a number of friends who, for one reason or another, are on their own.  There's no man to "take care of them".  Most of those women seem to have a stronger attitude than my married friends.  When I say stronger attitude, I'm not implying they are pushy or rude or anything like that at all.  They just seem to have higher expectations and a can-do (or more precisely, a must-do) attitude.  I'd never really thought about any of that before.  Also, I've never thought of myself as a wimp, but looking back, I guess I was.  I'm changing (because I have to) and there's no turning back.

Ditto

Today, when the nurse asked Rudy how he was doing, he told her to just look at last week's chart and write "ditto".   The bloodwork shows the platelets are still horribly low - 13.  That's lower than last week.  The good news is, everything else having to do with the immune system seems to be trending back up.  The platelets are often the last to bounce back so maybe they'll look better next week.

Last Thursday was his worst day.  He felt bad and looked bad.  I was pretty concerned.  This weekend he improved, but he continued to run fevers.  They go up and down, mostly hovering between 99.5 and 100.5.  Terri said if it goes over 100.4 and stays there for more than an hour or so, to give them a call.  They would probably prescribe antibiotics or something like that.
 
His liver enzymes all look pretty good, so the hepatitis hasn't messed it up so far.

His sodium has been low, which may explain why Rudy has suddenly decided potato chips are the best thing ever.  He's never been one to eat chips very often, but now he's loving them.  I may have to make an emergency grocery store run tonight for chips and cinnamon rolls.  We can't run out of either of those.

I used to be able to hold my head up when checking out at the grocery store.  My cart was filled with healthy stuff.  These days my cart is filled with all sorts of junk. I might start shopping late at night and wearing a disguise.