Not much has changed except my need to write publicly about how I'm feeling.
When I write on this blog, I am mostly thinking about whether what I'm saying might be helpful to other widows. Then, I think about whether what I'm saying might make my friends and family worry about me. Then I wonder if what I'm writing truly reflects how I'm feeling after all the editing.
I have switched over to journaling more for myself. It's easier. I don't have to think so much as I write. I just put down my feelings and get it out of my system. Then I get back to reality.
|This is how I think of Rudy. |
He was hilarious and laughed a lot. That's what made me fall for him.
I like this photo a lot, despite the poor focus and color. That expression is how he looked just as something funny was occurring to him. He could say something halfway insulting in a way that made you know you were loved and enjoy being zinged. He only did this with people he was close to. I heard a quote recently about somebody famous and of course, I can't remember who. It said this person could tell you to go to hell in a way that made you look forward to the trip. For Rudy, that would be changed to he could insult you in a way that made you proud to be so enjoyably flawed.