I was reading on one of my favorite widow blogs today and her post absolutely nailed the source of my grief. She said the memory of joy was the most painful. That's it! That's what turns on my faucet of tears every time - a memory of something wonderful.
Today, I was thinking about how Rudy always said I was easy to please. He would get me something small on a whim and it tickled him at how thrilled I would be. A million little things he gave me over the years popped into my head. Just the thought of them still makes me happy... and so, so sad.