It looks pretty certain that Rudy has lung cancer. We don't yet know the scope of it or the complete diagnosis. Rudy didn't want to tell people right away. That was sooo hard. I had to just sit on my worries and act like everything was normal. Seeing people without bursting into tears was hard. I'm sure people who have seen me these last few days have sensed something was wrong.
Rudy finally decided to let others know. At first, we just told Linda, Nancy and my parents. What a relief. Now there are others giving us support. We don't have to fake normal with them. It didn't go further for a few days, but then he realized there were more people who needed to be told. He's going to close his business. This needs to get started right away because soon we'll be on a hectic schedule of appointments and chemo will no doubt make him weak. He doesn't need to think about business while fighting cancer. Family and friends need to be told before business acquaintances.
Family has now been told about Rudy's cancer diagnosis. I've begun letting friends know as well. I decided to do the first contact with our friends through email to give them time for the news to sink in without them having to worry about reacting in a way that won't cause me pain. They can gather their thoughts and we can talk after they have processed. Telling people has been a Godsend, literally! So many people are praying for us. We feel surrounded by love.
Most of my emails went something like this -
It looks like Rudy has lung cancer. He has two masses in his lung and one is a pretty good size. It has come on quickly with little warning. It was caught initially in an xray he had during an exam. We thought he had a cold, but then thought it might have turned into walking pneumonia. Otherwise, he is the picture of health. The CT scan confirmed the masses and sized them. The next step is a biopsy. We see a thoracic surgeon this Friday. I hope he does the biopsy the same day, but I don't know if that will happen. The biopsy will confirm the cancer and the type and then we can getting going on the rollercoaster of treatment. The type is extremely important. There are some types that are easier to treat than others and we are hanging onto that hope.
Rudy is a rock. He is very strong and not afraid for himself. He only gets upset when he thinks of others. He's pretty tender-hearted.
I hit rock bottom at first but have pulled myself into a much better frame of mind so I can focus and take care of him. I cannot face losing him. I just can't. That's all I can say about that.
Please pray. We need all the prayers we can get. I'm hanging on the news of the biopsy right now.
I'll let you know more when I hear more. I've just started a Facebook page where I'll post updates. There are so many people in our families that want to know what's going on and this is probably the easiest way to do that.
